It was Christmas Eve, she was crying…
she was crying.
It was then that she completely felt that she’s losing him. It was then that she started asking who was “her” in their lives. But she still tried to hold on and never let him go. And it was then that she had to fight for the love she had for him.
It was the painful reality she faced in her entire life.
It was the deepest cut she had… like a dagger that wounded her soul.
But still, she believed in him when he said… “they” had nothing.
He just wanted to find himself.
He was asking for space because their relationship was suffocating.
He said she had a lot of insecurities. She was too jealous. She asked so much of his time and attention and he’s tired of her.
He’s tired of her…
those were the words that she never heard from him during the years they had together.Those were the words that added cuts in her wounded soul.
She was crushed.
She was torn into pieces.
And she gave him space.
He told her they would see each other after a month. He told her he would come home and fix everything that was broken. He told her he would work things out for her, for them. He told her…
Each day without him made her feel that she was being buried alive.
She felt like she was a lost soul walking in darkness.
Until a few days before they met, she called him up to say she was expecting him to come. But his answer caused so much heartache… “I can’t make it. Ayoko nang makita ka.” That line was a torturing pain that was slowly killing her. But she still insisted to see him and told him to be man enough to tell it right into her face that he’s ending everything with her.
So they met.
It was a night full of tears. It was a night of sorrow. It was the lowest point in their lives. They cried a lot and embraced each other so tightly telling her that he loves her so much but he could not accept the fact that he was so weak to fall into temptation. But she was afraid to ask if “she” really was the girl.
He was so confused that night. She couldn’t read his mind. He told her, the decision was hers. If she wanted to stay in the relationship but she had to give him space until he made up his mind.
She chose to stay.
That’s how much she loves him then.
She chose to stay.
She went home and kissed him goodbye. It was the last kiss she had from the man who also gave her that magical first kiss.
Two days after that, she sent him a message asking what lies ahead of them. He replied and said… “Honestly? The feeling is gone and friendship is all I have for you.”
Her world crumbled.
Why?
She was asking why .
What changed his mind and heart completely?
Then so much hatred in her heart came out and reached out to that girl. She searched for the truth. She wanted to know who was "her" to come between them. But she got nothing but lies.
After that incident, she started writing and writing and writing… heartaches, pain, sorrow… all were written in tears. She wanted to reach out to both of them and let them know how painful it was for her that they had hidden the truth behind lies.
She thought those words and tears would bring him back to her.
But never.
Never.
Christmas is once again coming.
If some thinks that holding on would make them strong, for her… it was letting go.
She had left everything behind and started looking at the brighter things ahead of her.
She continues to write and write and write...
in fact, she’s writing this one right now.
