Series of tragedies struck me and my family in the past five years and I consider having it as the darkest days of our lives... the darkest days of my life.
Witnessing the tragic death of my father and my sister, the loss of my brother, the life-threatening situation of my eldest sister and the loss of the man who stood by me during those times made me feel that I was in the cliff of nothingness,
...in the darkness searching for the light.
My life was meaningless.
Smiles and laughter were gone for the pain they caused was like a dagger that wounded my soul. Inside healing was the only thing that I could do to move out of the darkness. It was then that I asked God to rescue me because I couldn't bear the pain anymore.
I opened the Bible and God talked to me.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. " -Jeremiah 29:11-12
In the midst of darkness, I saw the light. I called upon Him and He listened to me. Yes, indeed, God's plans are for me to prosper, to give me hope and a future.
Those devastating tragedies brought me back to God. I started putting Him at the center of my life and asked Him to be the source of my happiness. I did not ask Him to take away the cup of pain I had if that would reveal His glory in my life. My only prayer was for Him to give me strength to endure it.
God listened to me.
Yes, He gave me strength until I found myself in His loving hands.
It was then that I started smiling and laughing, and seeing life in different perspective... everything happens for a reason.
As what Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
Yes, I know, like other believers, I am called according to His purpose for me. He sees the bigger picture of life ahead of me. I may not see it in perfect clarity by this time, but piece by piece, God is starting to reveal it. He does wonderful things in my life right now and He continues to amaze me.
One day, I'll be able to write my story in details and the wonderful things He did and He continues to do in my life. For now, I have to say, that after thirty years of my existence, I have found God.
And He's here in my heart.
